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Married and Mad, the Best of Married Jokes and Humor

One Liners

Bottle of deodorant

We'll go under a river soon

Temporary office

Married too often

Bad meat

Eating bananas

Beautiful & Stupid

Been riding backwards

You're so dumb

It's too hot today

I bet that horse falls into that hole

They didn't cost a thing

Absentminded milkman

Is Julia Roberts her real name?

I'll teach him to swear

I'll handle the redecoration

You have twins

Is it real?

Blame the wife

I fixed that sucker

Did you give my jewels for safekeeping

Texas vacation

I fixed them

Would you check on my wife

Birth control pills aren't working

Arrange for the baby to be christened

What's the joke?

He must think I'm in the coast guard

Leave it to you to buy tires

Fixing up cocktails

Stand in that circle

He keeps breaking my cigars

What are you doing?

Take him to the zoo

Here's the husband with flowers

Do you look at your husbands face?

Wheeling the baby?

Do you know a good dentist?



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