One Liners

What does X X X stand for?
Three rednecks cosigning a note.

Did you hear about the Oklahoma redneck who married an American Indian?
They had a baby and wanted to name it to reflect both races.
So they called it Running Dummy.

Did you hear about the redneck who went to the doctor to get a hernia transplant?

How can you tell which kid in the first grade class is the son of a redneck?
He's the one with the rusty zipper and the yellow sneakers.

INTELLECTUAL REDNECK - A guy who doesn't move his lips when he reads.

Did you hear about the redneck who planted Cheerios in his backyard?
He thought they were donut seeds.

What's even smarter than a smart redneck?
A dumb hillbilly.

Slim walked into his local post office and noticed a new sign on the wall:
MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY IN MONTANA
"Gosh!" he said, "If n only that job was in Texas, Ah'd take it!"

Did you hear about the redneck farmer who was so stupid his wife had to stamp This Side Up on her stomach?

Did you hear about the Nebraska redneck who filled out an employment application?
In the blank labeled "Church Preference" he filled in: Red brick.

What do they call the stork that delivers redneck babies?
A dope peddler.

What do you get if you cross a retarded West Virginian with a baboon?
A redneck intellectual

Why did the redneck drive his pickup truck over the side of the cliff?
He wanted to try out his new air brakes.

NEWS BULLETIN One of the television networks is currently creating a special series to be aired every Monday night in prime time. The show will be two hours long and feature a redneck trying to count to one hundred.

Interviewer: How do you spell Mississippi?
Redneck: Which one? The river or the state?

Did you hear about the redneck who 'was buried in lake?
His son drowned trying to dig his grave.

"Why do rednecks act like such morons?''
"Who says they're acting?"

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